I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i think i just lost a toe
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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