You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just cut my nipple shaving
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize