About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
