Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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