If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
