doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
