Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
