I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am one with the molecules
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
