i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
