hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize