Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
