awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
third nipple confirmed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
