He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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