Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You pole danced in your parka.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
