i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
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you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
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As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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