Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
