Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
