i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
