I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
