Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
