Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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