Welp...herpes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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