There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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