i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
