Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
