the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
