I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
