I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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