Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
babies were throwing up all over the place
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
