is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
