K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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