So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
