How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
