Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
