I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
