I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
