in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
