I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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