Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
