Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
