So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
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You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.