I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.