You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.