I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I need to calm my uterus...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.