Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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