could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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