Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
