I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
