Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.