do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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