Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
