that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
