Only a mothe r could love this liver
i love accidental penises.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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