4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
