we're blogging at a bar
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
