Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
