My nipple is on Facebook.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
now i know why i became what i already was.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
