We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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