You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
