she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
