I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
