Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
