During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
