Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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